Hard times running. A look inward, or have you ever asked why?

         May 2012. This was the month I would be running my first 100k. Miwok, along the Marin headlands, in Marin county, California. May was also the anniversary of my first 50k, the Ohlone Wilderness trail run. Which is a point to point run, starting in Fremont, Ca. and ending at Lake Del Val, in Livermore, Ca.. Either of these runs would be an achievement on their own, but I wanted to do both. Why not? I've been running for two years now. I'm only turning 55 in June, shhh No biggie. Well......

        Before I get to Miwok, let me just set the scene. I ran my first ultra last year, having only started running the year before. Prior to this, the farthest I had run was to the car, so I have felt pretty good about myself. I've run three 50 milers, qualified for Western States, run a bunch of trail runs, a bunch of marathons and have loved almost every moment of it.  I did not get picked, in the lottery, for WS., but I did get picked for Miwok. So Miwok would be my little WS. I started training, and I started getting hurt, shin splints, pain in the arch of my right foot, and dumb little colds, seem to plague me.

      The shin pain on my left leg really got bad. I was forced to concede that time off was needed. I rested for a week, then I got sick and lost another week. All to the good, right? Well back on the road after two weeks off and my shin still hurts! I'm pissed! I stop and loosen the laces on my left shoe and start running again, low and behold! the pain is not there. I loosened my laces as lose as I could and the pain went away. When the pain started, in the arch of my right foot, I did the same thing, and BANG! the pain went away. Dam shoes! I'll get into shoes later. Needless to say I was feeling much better, more hopeful that I would be ready for Miwok.  I trained hard, I ran the Dip Sea four or five times. I ran the start up and out of Stinson beach. I ran the trail from Bolinas to Stinson beach. I had run all the trails out of Muir beach and I really felt strong....  

        My son had a parent teacher conference on a Friday (The week before Miwok.), by Monday we were both sick. Miwok is Saturday, just five days away, and my son and I are 101 temp- flu- in bed- sick.  I don't do anything. No running, nothing. I can hardly get out of bed, and come race day, I'm not much better. But this is my WS. I tell myself I have to start. At the very least I have to line up and try.  This was really a big deal to me.  Saturday morning I'm up. I'm at the starting line and I'm as ready as I can be. We take off, and I can't believe I'm going to do this. I'm an old man now, but I still blow my own mind with the things I can do, or try to do.



2012 Miwok has started





Not my best looking photo.



 



                                                                                                       It was everything I thought it would be. The climb out of Stinson beach went just how it had during training. Only this time, I was looking down over a moon lit bay, it was 5:30 in the morning, "I'm up, I'm running and I am alive! "  I had to stop and try and take it all in. I had just climbed 1800 feet in two miles, it was clear as a bell out, the moon was full and a dark yellow/orange color. There was a trail of lights behind me and a fast fading trail of lights in front of me. It was time to run. The run to Bolinas went well. I knew I was not going to break any land speed records so I just settled into a nice easy pace. I started to see the "front of the packers" as they made their way back to Stinson beach. I always have mixed feelings when I see these guys and gals. I'm in ahh of their ability yet, I also feel like maybe there not even from this planet. Those are not normal people. I hate them. Not really, but you know what I mean.

I met my crew and sweetie at mile 13. Ate some melon, used the restroom, got my kiss and a "go get em" and I was off. I have to say the run back to Stinson beach is one of the nicest runs anywhere. Not a cake walk, but beautiful, and the trail dropping into Stinson beach is one of my favorites. It's fast, technical and breathtakingly beautiful.

Climbing out of Bolinas

                Then there's the climb up and over cardiac hill. I felt ok after my rest and refueling at Stinson beach, but as I started out, I knew I wasn't feeling my best. I had just run this trail the week before and now I was having a hard time walking it. The sun was starting to get warm, my tummy was not happy, my legs were heavy and then, the little voice started in on me. I was sick and everything was trying to work against me. On top of everything else I was sick. Did I mention I was sick? Well I have never had such a hard time running down hill as I did that day. The run down into Muir beach was killing me. I was done. I felt like I was on fire and my little legs were made of stone. As I made my way into Muir beach I knew my day was over. DNF at mile 31. It was ok. I knew this was not an "I quit" moment. This was I did my best and that's all I can do moment. I went home and slept.

Part II, The Ohlone Wliderness 50k

      May 20th was the date of the Ohlone Wilderness 50k. This was also the anniversary of my first ultra. I ran Ohlone last year and ran it in 8hrs 33min. I thought I would run it this year in under 8 hours. Boy was I wrong.



Me and my friend  Franco Soriano

The day started out to be beautiful and warm. I felt good and I knew I was going to have a great run. The bus ride from the finish line to the start is always a good time to meet and greet, to talk to FB friends and just shoot the shit.  Today was also going to be an experiment in running in "non-running shoes". I was going to be running in Converse.  Thats right. I'm tired of all the bull crap I have been going through with running shoes. Stabilization, arch support, heal cushion, on and on. It's crap. So I'm minimizing. A little at a time. I have my Vibram's but I wanted a little more sole underfoot, so Converse were the shoes I was going with.

Converse and injinji

So I'm sitting here thinking about my day and how I felt at mile 10 and the heat or how my tummy felt, but the truth is I had a long day. Ohlone has 7800 feet of climb, all going up hill. :) I felt like I was

always going up, and these hills are steep. The sun came out with highs in the 85 range, leaving me with a nice sun burn on the backs of my arms.

This run went from wanting to finish under 8 hours, to 9 hours, to "All I have to do is finish under 10 hours". I had to take it all in. I was out running on a beautiful day, on one of the most amazing trails in the bay area, on $55.00 Converse...  Yes my feet were sore, but they held up real well. (I'm still looking for that just right shoe, not to lit not to heavy.)

Looking back at the start.

Mission peak

Great volunteers at Rose Peak

I made it to Rose Peak

                That is the thing about running, about ultra running. You take things as they come. You deal with the trail and the sun, and your tummy, and you just keep going. I was in that state of mind through out the day. One foot in front of the other. Don't stop Paul, keep moving. This is my redemption run for DNFing at Miwok. I found myself asking if this is what I want to keep doing? Why the hell am I doing this? Where am I running to? Somewhere around mile 28 it started to come over me. You know that feeling when tears fill your eyes and your legs really hurt, and that feeling comes over you? That feeling that you are alive, one with, with the all. 

Okay. It maybe a little corny but that is really how I feel at those times. I just get over whelmed. I guess that is why I keep running. Nothing makes me feel that way. 

               May was a mixed month. I ran my races. I fell short of my goals. That's what happens if you aim for the stars. I learned that I do have it in me. When I crossed the finish line at Ohlone in 9:45 I asked myself if I would turn around and go back? The answer was yes. I'm an old man running and I can do amazing things.